28 Years Later...Coming Soon!!!

Kidhar ja rahey hai...

Kidhar jaana tha aur Kidhar ja rahey hai
Andhero me na ujalo mey….Raastey najar nahi aa rahey hai

Jagah jagah jhagdey…jagah jagah ruswai…insaan ki majaar pe aaj baj rahi shehnai
Wo haath thaam ke saath chalney waley…aaj haath kaat ke muskura rahey hai
Kidhar jaana tha aur Kidhar ja rahey hai…

Wo din…wo raat…aur wo din-raat ki baat…chah kar bhi yaad nahi aa rahey hai
Apni baton sey sabka dil behlaney waley…ab ik shabd ke liye tarsa rahey hai
Kidhar jaana tha aur Kidhar ja rahey hai…

Ik samay wo bhi tha…jab train ki 5 rs ki ticket lene mushkil tha
Aur ik samay ye bhi hai…jab ik raat mey hajaaro uda rahey hai
Andhero me ujaley dhoondney waley…ab roshni se ghabra rahey hai
Kidhar jaana tha aur Kidhar ja rahey hai…

Kyu bheed me bhi hai akelapan…kyu saath me nahi ab wo apnapan
Kyu yaad jinki aati hai unko bol nahi paatey…kyu hamaari tarah hamarey ab soch nahi paatey
Kidhar jaana tha aur Kidhar ja rahey hai…

Kya rakha hai aisi dhun mey jisey sun nahi paa rahey hai
Jis khayi ko sabgha tha manjil bas udhar jaa rahey hai
Kidhar jaana tha aur kidhar jaa rahey hai…

Something...something...Coming soon!!!

Lagta hai jaisey key kal ki baat ho...

Lagta hai jaisey key kal ki baat ho…
Kaash is haseen shaam ki kabhi na raat ho…

Enigma key woh Monday aur Thursday key happy hour…
Gokul ki tapri pe wo chai aur biscuit ki bahaar…

College ke bahar ka vada paav aur mysore masala…
Juhu Beach ki paav bhaaji aur uspey wo baraf ka gola…

Mithibai canteen ki wo poori-bhaaji sasti…
6 MM ki chhat pey wo night long masti…

Beach key Parantha house key wo unlimited paranthey…
Quad ke jammin sessions and wo raat-raat bhar ki baatein…

B’day ki party me wo padosiyon ka chillaana…
Summers me wo Essar ka khoon choos ke aana…

Chandan ki wo 40 rs ki sabsey aagey ki filmy…
Subah ke 5 bajey key wo Parle station ka pohey…

Raat ke 3 bajey sey wo bhurji paav ka rule…
Mocha ka wo flavoured hukka, vertigo aur shakes iced cool…

Asiad aur harish ki wo bindaas daaru partiyan…
Samudra ke kinarey wo guitar sessions ki mastiyan…

Freshers aur farewell ki wo rocking parties…
Part time ke batch ki wo cute si hotties…

Last bus pakadney ki wo har baar ki jid…
Aur last bus chudwaney ki wo doston ki safal koshish…

Goa ki wo trip aur wo banana ride ka bahana…
Hacienda ke bahar wo bada kaand ho jaana…

Library me baith key Counterstrike ki daily jung…
Class me kisi ko zzzzero-zzzzzero kehkey karna tang…

Exams key wo fundey aur night long preparation…
CV tak shortlist na honey ka placements mey frustration…

Cricket ke finals me FBM walo ko haranaa…
Aakhri college ki raat pe kisi ka wo cosco ball pe kuch likh ke de jaana…

Bina kisi baat pe wo kisi ki lena har dam…
Movie sharing aur (Lost!) downloading me rehna hamesha No. 1…

Convo ke din pey wo saath me foto khichwana…
Aur fir sabko jaatey dekhkey apney aansoo-o ko chipana…

Kehtey hai samay kisi ke liye nahi rukta…
To wo in yaadon ko bhi apney saath kyu nahi le jaata...

Koshish to sabki hai ki hamesha acchey rahey halaaat…
Par kaash is haseen sham ki kabhi na hoti raat…
Kaash ye kal ki baat rehti merey har-din ki baat…

And I felt like crying...

Suddenly I woke up…

Feeling strange uneasiness in my head…

“What the hell? Why so early?” That’s what my eyes shouted at me…"ru nuts it’s weekend for god’s sake!"
I didn’t listen to them and turned around and checked the time …it was 8 AM…

Something’s wrong…terribly wrong…

I didn’t even have any drinks last night…something’s wrong…am sure it is…
I stood up in bed…Strange…Violent…Unpleasant thoughts running through my mind…

The sight of that poor kid asking for “cutting” outside NM…sight of my late grandfather and grandmother on the burning pier…sight of my mom after that episode…sight of me reading that letter from papa…

Shit Shit…something’s gone wrong…terribly wrong…

What time is it in India? It’s 8 here…so 5:30 PM…
Is everything fine at home?? Oh no God…pls I can’t take this right now…
With trembling hands, I dialed India Airtel number…
“Welcome to Airtel…For calling within India… ” I cut the auto-message short and dialed Papa’s number….

Ring 1…Ring 2…Ring 3…common papa pick up…please…
“Hello”
“Ha papa”
“Ha bhai bolo…aaj bada jaldi uth gaye?”
“Bas aise hi…”
“Ya soye hi nahi ab tak…ha ha ha”
“Nahi nahi…achha sab theek hai ghar pey?”
“Ha bilkul kyu kya hua?”
“Nahi aise hi…didi kaisi hai?”
“Sab sahi…ab 10 min pehley baat ho rahi thi…mummy tumhari shuru hai…full form me hai…”
“Ok mai call karta hoon baad mey…”
“Theek hai so jao”
“Ok bye..”
“Bye…”
Cut…

Wooh…thank god…but then why this feeling? God it’s killing me…
My friends? All are fine? I guess someone was supposed to travel today…Oh shit…
“Welcome to Airtel…For calling within India… ” I dialed him…

Ring 1… Ring 2...everyone's gonna pick up late today...
“Hello…movie me hoon yaar baad me karta hoon…”
“Arey sun…wo dono Bombay aa raha they? Pahuchey?”
“Ha saath me hai…aur wo bhi hai…bahar nikalkey phone karegi bol rahi hai…saarey saath me hai aaj sharmaji…tumko chod key…”
“Chal theek hai…bye”

Ok now what…the feeling is still there…maybe some water would help….
I ran down the stairs…and drank 2 glasses…still no help…

Everyone’s fine at home…friends are also fine…still…something’s very very wrong…

E-mail…maybe someone has mailed something…Yes yes…
I ran up again…and opened the laptop…
0 new messages…

Oh common…what is it? I peeped into other rooms…everyone’s sleeping like a baby…
I dare not wake them up…it’s weekend after all (I shud have listened to my eyes)

Still what is it? This is the first time am feeling like this…something’s got to be wrong…

News…yes…check news…might be some plane crash…earthquake…or terrorist attack…
No no…please not again…Shit shit…

R E D I F F . C O M

Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage

Oh no…now what’s this…what happened to the Internet…
The WI-FI switch is off…I faintly remember doing that last night…can’t recall the reason though…
On…Wireless Network is now connected…
Ok now common…quick…

R E D I F F . C O M

The upload bar started to show some activity...Quite slow then normal though…
10%.
50%.....
80%........

And the page opened…
And I read the headline on it…
And there was the reason for the uneasiness…
And there was the reason for my chaotic mind…
And there was the line I never wanted to read…

“Sachin announces retirement in Mumbai”

And I felt like crying…

Searching the need for being Amal…

Last week I saw a movie called “Amal”. For people who don’t know anything about this, it’s a 2007 released movie featuring Naseeruddin Shah (whom am a big fan of especially after watching him live in Katha Collage), Seema Biswas, Roshan Seth (the Nehru in the movie Gandhi) and an unknown guy to me Rupinder Nagra who plays the title role.

The movie is quite simple about a billionaire (played by Naseer) who in disguise is on a lookout for “insaniyat” in the city of delhi to give away his entire wealth and comes across this Auto-rickshaw driver (Amal) and leaves everything to him just because he founds this man to be humane and in spite of being in poor condition still following the path of truth and making sure he doesn’t hurt anyone with his actions. Amal doesn’t gets the wealth is a different question and if he had got it whether he would have taken it is also questionable (you would need to watch the movie for details of how, what, where etc)

There were a couple of things that struck me in the movie, one something that the narrator repeats a couple of time about what exactly success means and the poorest of men are sometimes the richest. Also, personally it struck me on the point of trying (and making sure too) not to cause hurt to anyone knowingly and unknowingly both even if it causes pain or makes your life miserable in the eyes of the world.

As soon as the movie unfolded against my eyes and my mind started to relate it to self (I know it’s something one should avoid, but can’t help), the first thoughts the came to my mind were how different we actually are in reality to how we should be (as per Amal)

Here is a guy who is not able to make his ends meet and is still making sure at every point in his life he makes all possible efforts in doing the right things and helping others. Be it he helping a poor needy beggar kid by selling off his auto-rickshaw or accepting that it’s his mistake when the person boarding his auto scolds him for hearing the destination name incorrectly even when he was right. There is never a point where he has any second thoughts on the actions he would take and the conviction he has in his beliefs is beyond description in words.

And here we are, on face we always say and to an extent also try to make sure we are doing things rightly (as per our value system) and try not to cause harm to people around us. But our convictions take a beating when pitted against two things which we don’t want to cause harm at the same time. We always make a choice of where the destruction would be less and go ahead with it and then spend the rest of our lives trying to justify that we were right. Sometimes as an afterthought we admit too that yup we were wrong, but by then the damage is already done as through each and every action of ours someone gets affected by it in the positive or negative manner.

But then is it necessary for us to be right and act in a particular manner? I mean who decides that a particular action of ours is a correct one or we have been wrong. After all it’s always about the choices we make at every point of life. We all can retrospect and be judgmental about things but it is the person concerned who has to make a choice at a particular point of his life. It then comes down to the value system of ours which choice we make. As long as we are not regretting the choice and are at self ease within us, we should be good. (Not necessarily happy but at self-ease as we might have caused harm to someone by taking the other choice) It is my life and my decisions, if you agree it doesn’t matter to me and if you don’t, even that doesn’t matter an iota to me.

Coming back to Amal again, the guy makes all his choices within the realms of his value system. He doesn’t regret it although to a normal person it might seem he is an idiot (as one of my flat mate shouted in the middle of the movie) but so be it. Idiot he is if you want to call him that and a person with very high levels of “insaniyat” as the billionaire calls him. It again doesn’t matter to him. He would not utter a word on being called an Idiot and he would not take a penny for being very humane.

But what does he end up with?

Happiness? …maybe
Materials? …A zilch
Chaos?…A lot

So was his the way the right way? I don’t know the answer to this and I don’t think am educated enough to answer this. So why the need for being Amal? Why the need for being good to people and being someone with helluva lot of “insaniyat”? Coz am sure we all have some place for all the materialistic desires in heart (some more…some less…some say…some don’t) and definitely no one wants chaos in their lives…and when being happy is also “maybe” if you take the other choice…why not take the first one??

Makes sense?
!!!!!!!!!!!

Story of My Life...

In the road of this life**

In the road of this life, the search for identity.
In this deep ocean of tears, the search for tranquility.
At all costs with all the pains, at all times and within all the chains.
Facing the ups and facing the downs, wanting to blow up but having to calm down.
In all these efforts to survive, the strive for victory.
And still having the desire to create my own history.

Albeit for a moment, ‘a’ shadow came along.
Who taught me the lessons and made me belong.
As the darkness kissed the shadow, it ceased to appear.
Fizzled away in the crowd far from being near.
On its way out I could faintly hear, it was singing a mystery song.
The song was about sadness ‘nd how it’s always there.
The song was about happiness ‘nd how it’s never there.

In the road of this life, some strangers will keep coming.
In their strange ways those strangers would become your heartbeat and happening.
But when that beat becomes a stranger ‘nd everything comes to a halt.
This realization would slowly come in ‘nd hit you like a bolt.
Whatever we say and whatever we do, whatever happens and whatever we go through.
At the end of that road it all comes back on you.
At the end of that road it’s the end and it’s you.

**Adapted from the Hindi original 'Zindagi ki raah mey' by me

...to a new beginning...

Well lets see...me and blogging!

Starting with the Why...being here far off from ppl who can hear me...maybe this way can get out some thoughts and try and make sense out of it...

then for Who...me who else...thoda khud ke bhi baarey me socha jaay...its high time...

emm...till When...to be frank...as someone (in fact some-two) said to me once...give the place a chance...so lets this give a fair shot...who knows this might work...

ahha...What...will you write after all...this havn't thought off till now...but guess would come along as we move on...

So this is to a new beginning....cheers!