And I felt like crying...

Suddenly I woke up…

Feeling strange uneasiness in my head…

“What the hell? Why so early?” That’s what my eyes shouted at me…"ru nuts it’s weekend for god’s sake!"
I didn’t listen to them and turned around and checked the time …it was 8 AM…

Something’s wrong…terribly wrong…

I didn’t even have any drinks last night…something’s wrong…am sure it is…
I stood up in bed…Strange…Violent…Unpleasant thoughts running through my mind…

The sight of that poor kid asking for “cutting” outside NM…sight of my late grandfather and grandmother on the burning pier…sight of my mom after that episode…sight of me reading that letter from papa…

Shit Shit…something’s gone wrong…terribly wrong…

What time is it in India? It’s 8 here…so 5:30 PM…
Is everything fine at home?? Oh no God…pls I can’t take this right now…
With trembling hands, I dialed India Airtel number…
“Welcome to Airtel…For calling within India… ” I cut the auto-message short and dialed Papa’s number….

Ring 1…Ring 2…Ring 3…common papa pick up…please…
“Hello”
“Ha papa”
“Ha bhai bolo…aaj bada jaldi uth gaye?”
“Bas aise hi…”
“Ya soye hi nahi ab tak…ha ha ha”
“Nahi nahi…achha sab theek hai ghar pey?”
“Ha bilkul kyu kya hua?”
“Nahi aise hi…didi kaisi hai?”
“Sab sahi…ab 10 min pehley baat ho rahi thi…mummy tumhari shuru hai…full form me hai…”
“Ok mai call karta hoon baad mey…”
“Theek hai so jao”
“Ok bye..”
“Bye…”
Cut…

Wooh…thank god…but then why this feeling? God it’s killing me…
My friends? All are fine? I guess someone was supposed to travel today…Oh shit…
“Welcome to Airtel…For calling within India… ” I dialed him…

Ring 1… Ring 2...everyone's gonna pick up late today...
“Hello…movie me hoon yaar baad me karta hoon…”
“Arey sun…wo dono Bombay aa raha they? Pahuchey?”
“Ha saath me hai…aur wo bhi hai…bahar nikalkey phone karegi bol rahi hai…saarey saath me hai aaj sharmaji…tumko chod key…”
“Chal theek hai…bye”

Ok now what…the feeling is still there…maybe some water would help….
I ran down the stairs…and drank 2 glasses…still no help…

Everyone’s fine at home…friends are also fine…still…something’s very very wrong…

E-mail…maybe someone has mailed something…Yes yes…
I ran up again…and opened the laptop…
0 new messages…

Oh common…what is it? I peeped into other rooms…everyone’s sleeping like a baby…
I dare not wake them up…it’s weekend after all (I shud have listened to my eyes)

Still what is it? This is the first time am feeling like this…something’s got to be wrong…

News…yes…check news…might be some plane crash…earthquake…or terrorist attack…
No no…please not again…Shit shit…

R E D I F F . C O M

Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage

Oh no…now what’s this…what happened to the Internet…
The WI-FI switch is off…I faintly remember doing that last night…can’t recall the reason though…
On…Wireless Network is now connected…
Ok now common…quick…

R E D I F F . C O M

The upload bar started to show some activity...Quite slow then normal though…
10%.
50%.....
80%........

And the page opened…
And I read the headline on it…
And there was the reason for the uneasiness…
And there was the reason for my chaotic mind…
And there was the line I never wanted to read…

“Sachin announces retirement in Mumbai”

And I felt like crying…